"I don't make hell for nobody. I'm only the instrument of a laughing providence. Sometimes I don't like it myself, but I couldn't help it if I was born smart."

1st Sgt. Milton Anthony Warden.
"From here to Eternity"

Paul Valery

"You are in love with intelligence, until it frightens you. For your ideas are terrifying and your hearts are faint. Your acts of pity and cruelty are absurd, committed with no calm, as if they were irresistible. Finally, you fear blood more and more. Blood and time."

The Wisdom of the Ages

"When a young man, I read somewhere the following: God the Almighty said, 'All that is too complex is unnecessary, and it is simple that is needed',"

Mikhail Kalashnikov

Ya ever seen my house?

Ya ever seen my house?
Neither have I Ted! You douchebag.
"Here lies the bravest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it."

Zapp Brannigan

Monday, January 19, 2009

Lonesome George


I can't hate this guy.
He's a putz, but I think he may, way deep down - down where a few synapses may still be firing - realize what a bloody balls-up he's leaving behind.
Off into the sunset G.
The classy thing to do would be to forsake his pension and his lifetime of secret service protection for the good of a bankrupt nation, but that ain't gonna happen.
Even nicer would be for him to experience a complete psychotic break (Hell, he's taken every other kind of break over these past eight years.) where the long repressed rage at Dick Cheney's dogged insistence on maintaining a body temperature takes over.
He could then off him some spectacular and bloody manner on national TV.
THAT would make his administration memorable, and history would damn sure judge him less harshly.
I picked this pic out of our local rag for two reasons:
One, he's got that puppy-who-just-peed-on-the-carpet expression that we've been seeing so much of these past months.
Also, this picture answers a question that's been nagging me for years.
"Does a President shave himself?"
I think we've got a rock-solid "YES", at least for our boy here.
Check out those chin whiskers. Click if you have to.
No, on-the-payroll, White House barber would have let an abomination like this leave his shop.
Please understand; I'm not dissing W's sartorial standards. Back when I engaged in the ultimately self-defeating effort of shaving, that was a little patch of brush that was always easy to overlook.
Besides, the departing leader of the most crippled, dysfunctional world power since the fall of the USSR needs little less that grooming tips from a slob like me.
But, George... seriously now...
No shit. Keep plugging away. You'll find your niche. I did and you can't be any more fucked-up than me.
So, farewell and adieu.
Write when you get work.
Work you're good at.
I'm too depressed for anything else.

THIS JUST IN...
Cheney's going to be in a wheelchair for the event.
C'mon, George.
Chop-chop. Memorable presidency... remember.
He ain't gonna make it any easier.
Fish in a barrel.

2 comments:

Assrot said...

I think old Dubya is safe as long as he doesn't go bird hunting with Cheney.

:-)

Joe

simstone said...

I heard a friend of mine say that he would never vote for another president with such close ties to a major business interest again. My next question was, "So you ain't ever goin' to vote again I assume?"

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