"I don't make hell for nobody. I'm only the instrument of a laughing providence. Sometimes I don't like it myself, but I couldn't help it if I was born smart."

1st Sgt. Milton Anthony Warden.
"From here to Eternity"

Paul Valery

"You are in love with intelligence, until it frightens you. For your ideas are terrifying and your hearts are faint. Your acts of pity and cruelty are absurd, committed with no calm, as if they were irresistible. Finally, you fear blood more and more. Blood and time."

The Wisdom of the Ages

"When a young man, I read somewhere the following: God the Almighty said, 'All that is too complex is unnecessary, and it is simple that is needed',"

Mikhail Kalashnikov

Ya ever seen my house?

Ya ever seen my house?
Neither have I Ted! You douchebag.
"Here lies the bravest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it."

Zapp Brannigan

Monday, November 29, 2010

The Dog Ate My Homework...

Okay, I suck. I think I'm a wit but I'm only half-right.
Addressing obvious deficiencies in the most recent post, in response to faithful friends and readers Andy (who never comes to see me) and Kevin (who's got an excuse. He lives in France, but to whom I owe about a million e-mails and my first-born) I'll try to redeem my sorry-ass self.
First off; no Andy, if the evil empire sold these at all they'd just be a sucky made-just-for-the-store-of-the-stupid version.
I still really want one though.
Here's the contribution of those inscrutable Celestials to E-tool technology, as graciously provided by the Hapless French Guy:

The second time around, it still blows my shit away although the grapnel feature isn't particularly important to me. There's a reason I don't do roofing anymore. But as such it kicks ass on those candy-ass Buckmasters.

Okay, time to address my other dropping of the ball.
Pictured to the left:

"Infantry shovel (small) - i.e. entrenching shovel. 'Manual for soldier of infantry'. Moscow, 1956".

"The entrenching shovel is a deadly weapon in hands of a trained fighter. Its effectiveness arises from mobility comparable with maneuverability of a knife, but at the same time the entrenching shovel exceeds the striking power and the effective range of a knife.

The effective range of a knife exceeds the length of an arm by 15-20 cm. The entrenching shovel increases the effective range by 30 to 40 cm. At the same time the entrenching shovel is effective.

Besides, the entrenching shovel is an excellent throwing implement - the range of aimed throw made by a well-trained specialist is 10 meters or more."


The above quote and illustration come from a site where one can - for about the same bucks as the awesome Glock e-tool mentioned earlier - purchase a video showing how you too can ruin someones entire day with just a little shovel.
The aforementioned video apparently was made for the Godless Commie's Special Forces as a training vid.
In fairness though, I don't see any sheetrock saw, What's up wit dat?
One can find a short video preview here - or you can actually go to the site but I know some of you are busy.
Back to the vid, this scrawny Ruskie puke; I think that any FGIC (Fat Guy In Cammo) from Utah or Northern Idaho could eat this guys lunch - if he wasn't hungry and they asked nice.
But seriously, you tie this guy, this... Commie pussy to a tree and paint a target on his chest and the Madogre would make short work of him. Big time.

2 comments:

Andy said...

You're the man, Dan! Wish I could open the Russian vids. Maybe that can be your sideline, be the main importer for badass Chinese e-tools.

Yeah, I suck for not coming to town, but Eugenians see my new pegleg and either gimme the retard stare or smother me with "Thank you for your service"s. Oy.

The Daily Gun Picture said...

I have seen this before, but very interesting.

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