"I don't make hell for nobody. I'm only the instrument of a laughing providence. Sometimes I don't like it myself, but I couldn't help it if I was born smart."

1st Sgt. Milton Anthony Warden.
"From here to Eternity"

Paul Valery

"You are in love with intelligence, until it frightens you. For your ideas are terrifying and your hearts are faint. Your acts of pity and cruelty are absurd, committed with no calm, as if they were irresistible. Finally, you fear blood more and more. Blood and time."

The Wisdom of the Ages

"When a young man, I read somewhere the following: God the Almighty said, 'All that is too complex is unnecessary, and it is simple that is needed',"

Mikhail Kalashnikov

Ya ever seen my house?

Ya ever seen my house?
Neither have I Ted! You douchebag.
"Here lies the bravest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it."

Zapp Brannigan

Friday, May 25, 2012

The Last Watie

I hate this knife. This model of knife, not this one specifically. I didn't always feel this way but two niggling things gradually started to grate on me.
One, the handle is a bit on the small side having been originally designed for those tiny, mid-19th century mitts.
Second, the blade is a certified, ocean-going, deep-dish pain in the butt to forge. A smatchet's easier to shape.
I think I've only sold five or so of them and the last one, up till six months ago was four years back. A guy paid in full for it and another big knife, asked me not to date them or put my mark on them and then disappeared.
The Watie was the only one I'd started by the time I gave up on him. he never even asked for his $$ back. After two years, I made it into a different knife and sold it.


Last fall, two customers, within a week of each other, each ordered one.
After they'd patiently weathered the storm of my months-long episode of hammer-o-mania, I finally manged to ship both off in a mad rush - and with no small amount of incompetence being exhibited by yours truly.
Well, as it happens, Customer Number Two isn't happy with the blade shape.
He wasn't happy with being number two either but... he ordered last.
Well, there's nothing for it.
Poor Baby is sending it home - before he's even received it - on the strength of the above picture, for Christ's sake!

So, here she is: The last of these god-damned knives I'll ever make.
Now, she's going to be coming home just broken-hearted since she's not going to be living in Florida after all, so she'd love it if there was somewhere else she could go... after she gets back.
Somewhere nice...
Anyone... anyone...

$200 shipped and she'll leave on the first boat after she returns.
$10 off if you use PayPal (current cash crunch. Hey, I'm aliterate).

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