Big Bertha

Big Bertha
Circa 1940, on the streets of Rochester New York, Bertha does her work.
"I don't make hell for nobody. I'm only the instrument of a laughing providence. Sometimes I don't like it myself, but I couldn't help it if I was born smart."

1st Sgt. Milton Anthony Warden.
"From here to Eternity"

Paul Valery

"You are in love with intelligence, until it frightens you. For your ideas are terrifying and your hearts are faint. Your acts of pity and cruelty are absurd, committed with no calm, as if they were irresistible. Finally, you fear blood more and more. Blood and time."

The Wisdom of the Ages

"When a young man, I read somewhere the following: God the Almighty said, 'All that is too complex is unnecessary, and it is simple that is needed',"

Mikhail Kalashnikov
"Here lies the bravest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it."

Zapp Brannigan

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Bust This!

I can't be the only one driven nuts by "Mythbusters".
First, we've the standard misuse of the word "myth".
Although, according to Wiki, my dogmatic attitude only extends to the "academic" usage.
Well, that sure shut down my shit. Hell with them, I'm still right.
Semantics aside, there's still plenty to be irritated by.
There's the disclaimer (read "lawsuit repellent") where they, Jaimie and Adam inform us that; they're professional morons, so don't do what they do.
Then... "Between them, almost thirty years of special-effects experience".
What the hell does that mean?
Adams new on the job and only has six months while Jamie's been at it for "almost" 29 1/2 years?
What?
It's a stupid statement - and we're not even going to touch on the belief that special-effects expertise makes one expert at anything but... special effects.
They might as well have two guys with "almost thirty years experience as pastry chefs between them".
They piss me off, especially Adam, the professional fourth-grader.
Kari's way cute, if dumber than a box-o'-rocks. The other guys, "Soul-patch Boy" and the Asian guy; them I've got no problem with.
Roll film...

I'm not going to dignify the Tommy gun segment with a comment other than: What goober imagines that fifty rounds of .45ACP will cut down anything thicker than a broomstick.
Especially since, watching the muzzle, I doubt 10% were hits - if that.
Soul-Patch Boy does does a creditable job with the SAW.
It's just that... How to put this delicately... Isn't .223 really just a glorified varmint round?
They can't pull it off until the classic overkill arrives:
Forty-five seconds, 2225 (roughly)rounds of .308.
Now we're getting somewhere, expensively.
What would that run for everyday idiots like us?
Six hundred bucks - give or take?
Step aside, kids...
It's the grown-up's turn:
Bob and Sean step up to the plate.

Notice, about two minutes in, when Bob - the gunner - wants to shift his target area, he uses what Keegan referred to, in "The Face of Battle", to as "the quarter-inch tap".
Back in the day, first-war machine gunners were discouraged from seeking targets of opportunity.
The elevation was fixed and the gunner was to fire a burst, tap, burst, tap. Continue 'till you fall asleep.
Ideally the muzzle moved only 1/4" per tap.
This was a subject of endless tedious drill.
Not nearly as fun as what you'd think a machine gun should be.
But, boring old Bob and Sean put down their tree - a big tree - with just 470 rounds.
470 rounds of .303 British (motto: "Seventy years of service - but only fifty of obsolescence")
.303 Brit was the British predecessor to the .308.
I'd love to have a clever closing statement but the vids can speak for themselves.
Hell, I can do better than that.
Left, the outcome of a fight between a Mauser and a .303.
It looks like the Boche won, but the Brit didn't really get into the fight.

3 comments:

Assrot said...

So am I the only one that thinks Jaime is playing "Hide the Salami" with Adam's ass? I think the only special effect these guys have 30 years of combined experience in is buggery.

As for Kari. I think the comment from an old "Frasier" episode comes to mind. "Cute but stupid."

The other two guys are the brains of the operation. They should think about starting their own show.

Joe

Culpeper said...

I thought she was hot with those dirty boots. As for the two guys? Why didn't they tell her that dress is highly flammable? Also, they should have been able to shoot down that tree. The Vickers did.

Oliver Hart-Parr said...

An alert reader,
called himself "Anonymous"...
that name seems familiar.
Anyway, he pointer out that the transfixed round pictured was an 8mmn Lebel - not a .303 Brit.
He' right.
I deleted his comment by mistake.

Locations of visitors to this page