"I don't make hell for nobody. I'm only the instrument of a laughing providence. Sometimes I don't like it myself, but I couldn't help it if I was born smart."

1st Sgt. Milton Anthony Warden.
"From here to Eternity"

Paul Valery

"You are in love with intelligence, until it frightens you. For your ideas are terrifying and your hearts are faint. Your acts of pity and cruelty are absurd, committed with no calm, as if they were irresistible. Finally, you fear blood more and more. Blood and time."

The Wisdom of the Ages

"When a young man, I read somewhere the following: God the Almighty said, 'All that is too complex is unnecessary, and it is simple that is needed',"

Mikhail Kalashnikov

Ya ever seen my house?

Ya ever seen my house?
Neither have I Ted! You douchebag.
"Here lies the bravest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it."

Zapp Brannigan

Saturday, August 20, 2011

A Dignified Retirement for ALL our Veterans


Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time.
Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear."
"Yes sir, I understand your concern and I'll try harder."
Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, "It's odd though your coming in late.
I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning so late and so often?"
The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled.
He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, "They usually saluted and said,
"Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?"

To quote Pee wee Herman "I love that story".
Some say it's apocryphal (Read: bullshit) but the great arbiter of internet bullshit, Snopes has yet to repudiate it although the guy pictured with the fruit-salad isn't named "Charlie" but is rather the current CincPACFlt (The Nav does acronyms right!).
Regardless, it's an amusing story and a nice lead in to yet another Navy story (ZZZZZ).

Meet the USS Franklin, a "screw frigate", Commissioned in June 1867, she served three tours as European Squadron flagship over the next decade. That is to say... Farragut's flagship. For a year at least.
A screw frigate was one of those odd ducks that surface when technology is evolving. Back in the days of wooden-ships and iron-men, the conversion to steam propulsion was in fits and starts.
The screw frigates were so-named to distinguish them from the earlier, slower paddle-wheel frigates. The USS Merrimac, which needed a scuttling and rework to put her in the history books as the CSS Virginia, was a typical screw frigate.
One screw frigate remains today, the Jylland.
She now takes up space and reigns as (Correct me if I'm wrong) the largest wooden ship in the world at Ebeltoft, Denmark.
Let's have some more USS Franklin porn. She's rather under-photographed considering she was commissioned up until 1915.

After her year serving as Admiral David "Damn-the-torpedoes-full-speed-ahead" Farragut's flagship and the other nine years as flagship for the Atlantic fleet, she was, in 1877, given another role.
That of "receiving ship":

Now, a receiving ship is an odd concept but, by way of clarification, any Nav vets should immediately recognize the phrase: "Transit barracks".
Here's one of many "hulks" that were turned into floating, transit barracks so that arriving boot-campers, awaiting orders, could be housed and - thanks to a gang-plank - controlled until "their ship came in".
I wonder if any of these shitbird boots had any inkling that the ship in which they were laying on their rack, loping the mule and dreaming of dusky maidens, was once a "contender"; An ass-kicker; A fucking battleship or heavy-cruiser before they used those terms?
I think not and it makes me sad. The old girl was commissioned for forty-eight years, thirty-eight of which were spent as a glorified (Hardly!) houseboat.
It makes me wish she'd gotten into some trouble in the 1870's just so she wouldn't have ended up so useless.
Since I'm all in a mood, some more pics of her... as a has-been:

See. There she is - in the background - looking like a fucking building.

Oooh! There she is again. Waaaay in the background this time - but still in there battin'.
Okay, my piss-off string isn't run out yet.

In closing - and this will be made to relate - Charles (No! My name is not pronounced "COCK"!) Koch felt led of the spirit to address an earlier editorial by Warren Buffet which said, in essence, that all the billionaire, greedy fucks ought to pony up a little.
Here's what Chuck Cock (Koch) had to say about that:

“Much of what the government spends money on does more harm than good; this is particularly true over the past several years with the massive uncontrolled increase in government spending. I believe my business and non-profit investments are much more beneficial to societal well-being than sending more money to Washington."

Ah, billionaires. Is there anything they're actually good for?

But, I promised this would tie in...
Here is, the second comment to the above drivel - in its entirety - billionaire I-don't-have-to-be-smart-'cause-I'm-rich - typos left as read:

One thing for cutting- just found out that military members can retire on full pension after 20 years service- which is often at 38 years old!!!

"Now thats ripe for a cut - why should they get full pensions in their 30s while hard working americans have to wait until they are in their 60s? (Bear in mind that there are infact professions that are more deadly thatn being a soldier- trawler fishermen for example have high killed in the line of work per capita figurtes than the army). Where are the half salary full pensions for 38 year old fishermen?

But good news is that the army will propose replacing this with standard 401k instruments that pay out at the same age as the rest of us."

Veterans, I rest my case.
Any billionaire apologists, feel free to comment. PLLLLEASE comment.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Ah, billionaires. Is there anything they're actually good for?"

Well--- they
make for some *very* interesting reading--->http://www.villagevoice.com/2011-08-24/news/william-bill-koch-the-other-koch-brother-tea-party/

As for brother Charles libertarian view on retirement funding I have to agree that the in the public sector in particular there is a large amount of an unfunded liability in both pensions and healthcare. For example look into how NYC Police "pad" their retirement and are retiring at 40 something often with $100+++K a yr plus full benefits.. Then take a peek at the number of "retired" generals being brought back into active service to help run the show in Afghanistan/Iraq at what---$100-200K plus a year. And note who they were working for when being brought back..the military fukin industrial complex..So I have to ask the question--just where do these generals loyalties lie? And is that why this so called war keeps going on for seemingly forever? Military pensions indeed...

Dan brock said...

Vis a vis the MIC: I can say it no better than Major General Smedly Butler, USMC:
"War is a roacket"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_Is_a_Racket

Comrade Misfit said...

Nice, except it is now "ComPacflt" (Commander, Pacific Fleet"). Sure, it was "CincPacFlt" for generations, but Chimpy the Last had serious insecurities about anyone else having the job title of "Commander-in-Chief", so all of the regional CinCs had their titles changed.

Dan Brock said...

Damn! I really liked the sound of "Cinc".

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