1893 Grand Exhibition. The world's intro to PBR, hot dogs, ice cream cones and the Ferris Wheel.

1893 Grand Exhibition. The world's intro to PBR, hot dogs, ice cream cones and the Ferris Wheel.
A view through the wheel. The black, horizontal line is the axle, the single largest forging to that time.
"I don't make hell for nobody. I'm only the instrument of a laughing providence. Sometimes I don't like it myself, but I couldn't help it if I was born smart."

1st Sgt. Milton Anthony Warden.
"From here to Eternity"

Paul Valery

"You are in love with intelligence, until it frightens you. For your ideas are terrifying and your hearts are faint. Your acts of pity and cruelty are absurd, committed with no calm, as if they were irresistible. Finally, you fear blood more and more. Blood and time."

The Wisdom of the Ages

"When a young man, I read somewhere the following: God the Almighty said, 'All that is too complex is unnecessary, and it is simple that is needed',"

Mikhail Kalashnikov
"Here lies the bravest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it."

Zapp Brannigan

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Wherein I vent, spout and otherwise behave... unproductively

What a world, what a world.
This has been an exciting couple of months. Power-hammer headaches are gradually diminishing but  still on the docket.
But this this is nuttin', out there in the world...  Holy shit!
The nation's gone simple!
Example:
The centennial of the christening/launching/sailing/sinking of RMS Titanic seems to have snuck up and caught a whole of bunch of people, dummies actually, by surprise.
Illustrated by the Twit page to the left: It's well worth the zoom. These people are thick in the extreme.
The first entry, by one Charlotte Hall:  

"Is is bad that I didn't know Titanic was real?"

Well, sweetie...  it ain't good.
The important thing to know is this: When you first realize that a piece of everyday, common knowledge has somehow evaded your rapt attention and you're feeling stupid, justifiably so; don't pick that moment as the one to whine on Twitter about how retarded you feel.
Just keep it to yourself. Go to the Google and get clued up. That way no one will know that you were, only moments prior, as dumb as a post.
Ya think all the smart people got that way by accident?
Aaand then!
Ted Nugent happened.
He will never, ever let you down whenever you want some, just-plain, stupid. Taken neat.
Everyone knows what dipshit said about Obama and I don't give a rat's ass how he feels about him.
Teds opinions don't count for me.
But one thing does count.
Remember Charlotte Hall? Ted has a serious... for lack of a better term: Charlotte Hall problem.
If he actually knew her, it would certainly be a much worse problem but you'll gather that on your own as we move along.
You remember of course that Patriot Ted shit his pants to avoid the draft - and then bragged to High Times about it.
Well, later he claimed that he had just been joking, he'd really gotten a school deferment.
You be the judge. Which has the most payoff for a lie believed?
So, how do we come by all this intel (Just read that word on a Macho Forum) regarding this... enigma of a man?
It's simple, Ted tells us. All the time, publicly, loudly.
That is what I call the Charlotte Hall syndrome!
Seriously Ted, low profile, Dummy.
So it naturally follows that, in a similar lighthearted moment on VH1's "Behind the Music" good old "Uncle Ted", mentioned that he just luuuuved the young stuff.
Really young stuff.
Now, those of us who have always known that Ted was a douchebag would have already assumed this to be the case.
He is a "madman", you know.
It's just that now his foray into live political commentary (something about wiping asses with... inappropriate materials...? Ewww! )  has led all of those of an inquisitive nature to wonder what else might be up with "The Nuge"; what with him being so, all of a sudden... interesting and all.
So much about our boy comes to light... ya' know... him being an idiot and stuff.
So, dumbass sticks his head over the parapet once again so now people are paying attention. They're thinking: "If this guy makes such good copy with just this, he must be a gold mine."
Their digging is soon rewarded with the VH1 footage, '90's I think.
And there's a revelation: Ooooh, Ted likes to fuck leetle girls!
Now that's a story with legs!
In the midst of all this newly awakened... interest, Courtney Love called the Howard Stern Show and told the world that, in 1976, when she was twelve, she'd given TN a blow job.
The big man was twenty-eight.
He's a Madmaaaaaan I tells ya.
No, he's a shit.
Opinions regarding Ms Love' character notwithstanding, one doesn't get to judge the values of someone that's twelve - from thirty-six years away.
But... maybe she's lying.
I doubt it. In aid of what? Finally bringing down the madman? Positive publicity for herself?
There's no payoff for her - unless she just want to fuck over the guy who... never mind.
For my money, speaking as the father of a twelve-in-ten-months-year-old, in any situation involving a twenty-eight year-old, a twelve year-old and a blow job, only one story gets believed.
To call Ted a piece of shit is to speak ill of everything currently floating in the toilets of the world.
So in homage to "The Motor City Madman": a portrait of the real motor city madman, one James Newell Osterberg, Jr.
Sorry Theodore (Wasn't he the dorky, one of the chipmunks, with the glasses?), You didn't make it.
Not even on the list.
The list... let's see...

The Stooges (already covered)
MC5,
Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels
All of Motown... The Supremes (jes' po' trash from the projects) , Marvin Gaye, The Contours, Stevie Wonder...

Bob Seger... and these are just the one's I can think of.
Detroit musical entities beside whom, you suck.
Iggy's face says it all Ted. Later...
I don't care what you think about guns either.

Shit! that was fun.
Moving right along; found this informative and entertaining vid on Calguns.
As always, the giggles are in the followup.
I quote: one, cato:

No, thank you, I don't want a "happier, more socially just, more ecologially (sic. cato's an idiot) sustainable world."
I want "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness."



The pot boiled further.
The guy who started the thread and posted the video asked:

Quote:
Originally Posted by rysmithjr
are those diametrically opposed things in your worldview?

seems to me that one list is the method and the other list is the desired result.
"happier, more socially just, more ecologially sustainable world."


At which, cato stood up and boldly stated:

Wow, this phrase is loaded in Communist/Collectivist rhetoric.
"happier" - we promise you contentment if you submit
"socially just" - we will collect and redistribute wealth as we see fit. 
Racial minorities must struggle against the oppressive common enemy.
"ecologially sustainable world" - Abandon your God and worship the new God Mother Earth.
You will gain worth by sacrificing yourself to the needs of the planet.Sure on the surface it appears innocuous. Of course everyone wants a clean planet and no one wants to be consumed by shiny objects. But to achieve that goal, you have to give up your soul.


Okaay there...  I think you're reading a lot into this.
And "Racial minorities must struggle..."?
What's that about?


Okay. Finished now. I feel much better.
To close;
There's much humor to be had, courtesy of The Monster Hunter wherein he describes his nightmarish childhood. This being in aid of a now defunct Child Labor Law that Larry took quite a lot of (incorrect) issue over all the while simultaneously insulting anyone who might disagree with him.
More flies with honey, Larry...
Best part: He was played.
But it's all good. Kids working in tobacco fields in the South can still get the nicotine benefits of nearly two packs a day... for free!
And with no stinky breath.
Think of it; you wouldn't have to steal Mom's lighter, find someone to buy cigs for you, all that hassle.
Nope. It's all laid on. Just go to work.
Larry's a moron.

Our old pal GHH Hill IV seems to be a bit low at present. He's talking about buying a whole bunch of shit 'cause "Fuck it" he wants to.
Please... anyone who cares... send him the video above. He's on the brink.
Stepping back here a bit... I've been reading him for five years now and, with this latest, I find myself asking:
What in the fuck has he been doing?  In all that time I have never yet read of him denying himself anything.
I'd bet he's bought half a dozen 1911's over the last 18 months - and now he's got one in 10mm. 'Cause he wants it.
Question: Does he ever buy anything for anyone else (seven of them) in the family?

Anyway, all good things must come to an end.
Here are two quotes for you to ponder:

"To think that there's a bureaucrat in the United States Army that would consider the use or abuse of First Amendment rights in determining who is going to perform at an Army base is an insult and defiles the sacrifices of those heroes who fought for the U.S. Constitution, Bill of Rights,"

Ted Nugent : On the news of the tragic cancellation - of him - as headliner at a June, '70's  rockathon at Fort Knox.
Seems the Army, booking people thought that the two dinosaur, opening acts, Styxx and REO Speedwagon could carry the freight alone.
Sorry, Ted. Sucks to be you.
And Ted, this isn't a constitutional issue.
You were hired - then fired. Simple as that, I'm sure it's happened before.

Okay, next up:
Again from Calguns, a thread concerning the hows and wherebys of Obama being raised to dislike America so.
I tried to find the link again but it's gone away. The thread's not important although it does bring out the best in both sides of the political spectrum on that forum.
First, a tiny digression: In an American Lit class long ago, we were studying Henry James.
Henry James is famous for long, long, really long sentences.
The professor read one example that contained 57 words and then gave the assignment of writing a similar "Henry James" sentence. It had to be coherent and a real sentence  -  and as long as possible.
I won (Woo Hoo!) - with 37 words.
But I bow before the master.
The following, penned by one chicoredneck, says it all.

I am astonished that a group of people whom own firearms and recognize an individuals right to self defense and deter tyranny with force which implies an individuls need and right of self reliance and self responsibility can support other people not taking responsibly for their actions and willfully giving up their self reliance.

"Fifty-Four Words!". Good on ya', chicoredneck!
Full marks for volume but - doesn't pass the makin' sense test.
Good effort though.
And excellent (mis)use of the pronoun "whom"!
I know it's pointless but you could have just written "who" (Shorter, grammatically correct. Works for me).
"Whom" is the objective case, Bubba.
How the hell do we preserve our archaic and cobbled-together language, if all you young bucks are playing fast and loose with our objective pronouns?
And possessives, Goddammit!
Apostrophes. Also paying attention to whether your screwing up with some of you're homonyms.
Their are lots of reasons to do it wrong. It's easy. Your lazy. Thing is:
Those people over they're, they don't know how really smart you are.
Just 'cause I ain't got proper grammar. it don't mean I'm stupid.
Point taken. It just don't mean you're smart... either
Their, They're... Don't cry.

1 comment:

g00$e said...

You've never mentioned Ted's nearly whacking his leg off with a chain saw while filming his reality tv show.

Always preferred Mark Farner, who was better than Ted in extended live jams. I never followed Ted at all but some years ago he did a live recording in which he pretty much lifted Farner's riffs off the Grand Funk Live album. Maybe it was in tribute?

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