"I don't make hell for nobody. I'm only the instrument of a laughing providence. Sometimes I don't like it myself, but I couldn't help it if I was born smart."

1st Sgt. Milton Anthony Warden.
"From here to Eternity"

Paul Valery

"You are in love with intelligence, until it frightens you. For your ideas are terrifying and your hearts are faint. Your acts of pity and cruelty are absurd, committed with no calm, as if they were irresistible. Finally, you fear blood more and more. Blood and time."

The Wisdom of the Ages

"When a young man, I read somewhere the following: God the Almighty said, 'All that is too complex is unnecessary, and it is simple that is needed',"

Mikhail Kalashnikov

Ya ever seen my house?

Ya ever seen my house?
Neither have I Ted! You douchebag.
"Here lies the bravest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it."

Zapp Brannigan

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Hatchet Smatchery

Wherein, in the course of a warm spring day, our hero discovers a second meaning to the word.



Of course I meant "Smatchet Hatchery". That damned president of ours. He'll end up making spoonerists of all of us.
I've had a run on the big blade of late, Three orders over the past week.
Now, the smatchet measures a full 3" across and... let's just say it's easier if you can find stuff that's wide enough to begin with.
Above, the princely prize that the lad and I trundled home from the junkyard the other day.
I've held off on the leaf-spring purchases of late. I've got lots of other steel and...
Mostly, it's just kind of a tough slog for those of us with problems in the socializing field, so most of the time I go mining along the tracks.
The problem is this:
I'll walk into the place and say, "I want leaf-springs".
The man will reasonably answer, "What do you want them for?"
This is, of course, no attempt to pry into my affairs.
He thinks I'm buying "parts" vs "junk" and he doesn't want to sell me the wrong part, bless him.
But I don't want to pay "part" prices.
There occurs a brief, uncomfortable (for me) exchange, then I get sent out to look at the detritus.
I'm aware that this social awkwardness is mine alone but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
In any case, the staff of D&L Truck Parts of Junction City, OR were helpful and polite, especially the yard guy... Tracy... Kelly, something like that.
Anyway, FOURTEEN RUNNING FEET of smatchet-able goods, all told. Most of it 3/8" thick.
And, most importantly, a full 3" wide.

That's the maximum width of the blade in question so, it's manna from heaven (exaggeration).
And, to not have to gently nudge some hunk of RR iron out to 3"...
Thank you Ford motor company.
Best part:
$10.
Twenty-cents a pound.
Woohoo!

Good luck, little smatchet larva.

2 comments:

Assrot said...

What would it run me for you to make me one just like in the picture?

I have one condition. The springs must come from a Chevy.

Joe

Oliver Hart-Parr said...

Joe,
You never visit my website...
$160 brass pommel, $155 aluminum.
Does it have to be The Bowtie or is Grabowski Motor Co acceptable?
GM brain twister there.
I own a majority share in their sorry asses now.
Back to vacuum windshield wipers!!

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